CERN, Switzerland, and the Doomsday machine that is the Large Hadron Collider nears completion. The LHC is in fact a vast underground construction that spans the border between Swtizerland and France. Ostensibly built as an experiment to detect the illusive ‘Higgs Bosun’ particle the true purpose of the LHC has been hidden according to Swiss non-profit news site Notepad.

It turns out that at the same time the scientific community was colluding with each other to frighten the world with a consensus opinion on the dangers of anthropogenic global climate change, another threat loomed. It is hard for the non-scientist to understand quite what the LHC is, but, it would seem, it is roughly analogous to the Death Star.

Professor Doctor Otto E. Roessler has given a revealing interview on the dangers that the LHC poses to the universe. The 77 year old is described as a “respected multidisciplinary scientist”, but he has had the courage to turn against the global scientific conspiracy and speak out against the LHC. Miniature black holes, Roessler claims, will radiate from the device, spelling the end for Earth’s much loved satellite.

As an infographic bonus see below an artists impression of what it would look like if Batman fought a shark with a lightsabre. The image comes from here.